I Hear You

Have you been silenced? 

You talk but it seems as no one hears your silent scream for help, and if they do hear you, they muzzle you.

You pray, read your Bible, go to church, yet all you hear is how you failed, how you should have been a better wife, forgiven him, loved him better, submitted more or that you should go back to him. 

You couldn’t do it one more day. There must me more to living than this meager existence. 

Jesus invites you into healing and wholeness from the trauma of your marriage. You are not at fault for what your husband did to you, it’s all on him. Jesus calls you His BeLoved, He hears the cry of your heart. 

How Did It Come To This?

He made you feel like his dream come true, he hung on your every word, his eyes lit up when you entered the room, tell you how beautiful and extraordinary you are. When you had disagreements he’d shower you with flowers and gifts, you’d apologize for what you did to make him angry. Once again, he’d remind you that you are his one and only silencing your doubts.

Your wedding was stunning and everything you ever wished for, hand and hand you dashed off for an enchanting honeymoon.

You don’t know what you said or did, but his demeanor changed ever so slightly until it escalated as he called you names, pointed out your flaws, letting you know you couldn’t satisfy him. The derision in his voice shocked and silence you. 

The next day he woke you with coffee and flowers, kissing away your hidden bruises, declaring his love. 

Who knew love could hurt so much. Variations of the story played out through the years until you mustered all the courage you had to reach out to your church. Their advice… forgive, submit, respect him. Pray more, have more sex and the reminder that God hates divorce so you must endure. If you were a better wife, he would be a better man.

And endure you did until the day you couldn’t endure one more day. The day you risked God’s wrath and escaped the travesty called marriage.

All Is Not Hopeless

BeLoved God isn’t angry with you for leaving.

He knows what it took for you to survive your husbands control, manipulation, and abuse. God saw the years you stood in the gap for your husband. You are not at fault for his choices, nor are you responsible for him changing.

You’ve done enough.

You’re in a place you never expected to find yourself. Alone.

You long for a hug, to know you matter. No words. No solutions. Just a squishy mama bear hug. You’re bone weary and exhausted from battling the one who should have loved you.

God wants to be your strength when you can’t stand, cry out to Him when you’re distressed. When your mind is spinning He will be your soothing presence, He will calm you and fill you with delight. He is your tower of strength, your safe place where you can hide in the shelter of His presence.

There is Hope

Are you ready to take your life back? To move into unknown territory? To make choices for yourself?

Don’t let the start stop you from stepping into the wonderful unknown. God promises to infuse you with strength, to help you through the hard, and hold your hand so you don’t lose your way.

He’ll sit with you in your pain, listen to your moans, groans, and anguish without saying a word until you’re ready to hear His sweet words of comfort.

How do I know? I’ve walked this same path. I’ve sunk into the pit of darkness more than once before calling on Jesus to pull me out. He always showed up. He’s faithful even when I wasn’t. He didn’t scold me, He loved and comforted me. He never failed me, though I failed often.

It’s time to reach towards the light–even though you don’t understand why the man who should have loved you, abused you. You can turn towards Jesus even though you may not trust Him.

When you turn towards Jesus with an open heart, He lifts the veil of darkness so you can see the One who loves you.

In this place lies are exposed, truth is reveal, hope is restored.

You are free to choose the direction of your life, to redefine who you are and choose to live as another one free.

Best Selling Author

My Story

Karen suvived a 30-year abusive marriage. She is an advocate and mentor for women who long to experience healing. Since 2005 Karen has been on her own healing journey and nearly that long helping others find freedom, restortation, and redemption from the one who vowed to love you. Karen’s book Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse released by Kregel July 20, 2021. It’s available wherever books are sold. 

Karen has been married to Tom Gardner since 2010, they are co-owners of a private security company. 

Karen is passionate about healing, the Word, Tom, and coffee.